Building a Fetish Identity on Whiplr: A Messenger with Kinks

Does what you write on your profile actually count? What about the photo you choose? We’re delighted to publish our first guest post, from Whiplr user Eibon!

One unique outgrowth of the “Fifty Shades” craze has been the development of “Whiplr” – an online matchmaking application for the iPhone and Android operating systems similar to Tinder

Whiplr immediately caught my attention since I’ve been participating in online dating for years, including BDSM lifestyle dating, and have met many of my partners through these online sites and smartphone applications.

Here are some thoughts on putting your best foot forward on Whiplr:

Whiplr lets you use one photo – choose it wisely

_0001_1242x2208Whiplr doesn’t connect through Facebook like Tinder – your account is self-contained and at this time Whiplr will let you upload one photo.

Everyone has different necessities with regard to discretion, but discretion is no excuse for not uploading a real photo.  Even the closeted professional can take a pic from behind, the neck down, etc.  Using stock / inauthentic photos is a great way to lessen interest in your profile.

Most BDSM communities have professional photographers or amateurs that are capable of creating approximately professional results.  Don’t be afraid to have them help you.

Always watch your background and surroundings when taking photos.  For example: while browsing profiles I came across someone standing in front of race car.  It wouldn’t have been a bad snapshot aside from the fact that the name of a local high school was prominently featured at the top of the photo.  That just comes across as weird on an application aimed at adult fetish enthusiasts.

Many bemoan the style of this new generation of matchmaking apps, saying that choosing someone based on a photo and very brief profile is superficial and panders to short attention spans.  But as Sean Rad, CEO of Tinder, said:

“Everyone is able to pick up thousands of signals in these photos. A photo of a guy at a bar with friends around him sends a very different message than a photo of a guy with a dog on the beach.”

 

Communication is key
_0000_chat listMaking a match on Whiplr is not a prerequisite for messaging someone.  You can expect a lot of Whiplr users, especially women, to be inundated with the worst conversation starters imaginable, similar to other dating sites / apps.

Remember when contacting anyone you’re working against all the negative impressions that have been created by others.  Opening a conversation with “you’re hot” or “hey what’s up” isn’t too interesting.  Consider sharing your thoughts on something in their profile instead, or mentioning something positive that’s happened to you lately.

Do not share your life story with someone you’ve just met online, it will come off as needy and desperate.  Also avoid mentioning specific fetishes right off the bat unless your conversation partner brings it up.  If you want to wear super hero outfits while engaging in enema play that’s your business, but it usually isn’t appropriate to mention in the first few minutes of a conversation.

 

Whiplr is new

 At the time of this writing (mid-April 2015) Whiplr is just catching on and it will be interesting to see how it develops.  Even major cities don’t have too many users signed up yet, but that should be changing in the near future.  May you enjoy many fun times with the matches you make.

 

Eibon

a BDSM presenter and author of the forthcoming book “Erotic Lightning,” a guide to using electricity for fetish play.  Read his biography and list of available classes at www.eibon.us

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