A new year is an excellent opportunity for curious people to challenge themselves to experience new and exciting ways to pleasure themselves and their partners. We’ve gathered a few ideas for kinky New Year’s resolutions that are guaranteed to make this year one to remember.

Congratulations! The Earth finished yet another journey around the sun, and you’ve survived the trip. That’s what New Year’s is all about, isn’t it? Celebrating life, putting the past behind, and looking forward to doing it better next time. That’s where New Year’s resolutions come in – little guidelines to help us grow along with our friends, families, lovers, slaves, and pets. In the case of BDSM dating, these resolutions are often about trying something new- from new fetishes to new toys. But buying more items for your toy box or scoping out a new dungeon is only scratching the surface.

Living a kinky lifestyle is not only about looking the part, but also being a true kinkster: knowing how to set and respect boundaries, listen and engage with your partner, being attentive, learning to perform aftercare, and more.

To help you become a better kinkster in the new year, here are 4 New-Year’s resolutions any kinkster should embrace.

BDSM Dating Resolution #1
Listen More Actively

It goes without saying that you should always treat your partners with respect and be attentive to their needs, but in BDSM consent and respect our paramount. Your BDSM dating experience will become much more fulfilling once you start actively listening to your partner(s).

  • Ask questions and be in the moment.
  • If you feel like your partner is holding back, try and find ways to make them comfortable opening up to you.
  • Whether you’re in a long-term sub-Dom relationship or just in a one-time thing, make a habit of talking about what you experienced together, and try to glean how to improve for the next time. You might be surprised how much people are not telling you until you ask them about it.

BDSM Dating Resolution #2
Give as Much as You Get

Who gives and who gets is very clear in a sub/Dom(me) relationship, but what about your relationships the members of your BDSM community? Here are some ways for you to help make your BDSM community better.

  • If you go to munches regularly, consider hosting one.
  • Have you been mentored on how to safely use ropes when you started out? Resolve to become someone else’s mentor.
  • Do you visit a dungeon and play publicly? Consider going to one and just watch instead of participating.
  • Always watching others’ play? Resolve to take part in a scene.

BDSM Dating Resolution #3
Learn Something New to Add to Your Play

There are so many BDSM techniques and tools that we are sure there’s at least one you’ve always wanted to do but never learned how. That Japanese bondage harness looks freaking awesome, but you never knew how to do it? Well, now is the time! How about kinking it up with some fire play? That could be taught in about one session, and lead to many exciting BDSM dates in the future (but safety first, guys!)

Japanese Bondage

BDSM Dating Resolution #4
Let Go of Fears

An open mind is one of the prerequisites of kinks, but most of us still have our hang-ups and fears, which often bind us as surely as any cuff. We know there’s at least one thing you’ve been dying to try out, but have been too afraid to try, even if you won’t admit it. Well, it’s time to let go of your fears, and embrace that experience. Maybe it would be a one-time thing, and maybe it will become your new favorite. Either way, you’ll grow from it, and it’ll affect your experience with BDSM dating for days to come.

Better You, Better Kink

How does any of this relate to better dating? By becoming contributing member of your kink community, you will open yourself up to new and unexpected opportunities and experiences you wouldn’t have encountered if you stayed in your comfort zone.